Zenhabits.net

If you're like me, life comes at you fast with different obstacles. Tests, lab reports, projects, meetings... But, this website here has some great tips on staying on top of it all. There are posts ranging from simplicity to motivation. It's a site I check regularly and have gotten a lot out of. For instance, I just read a post about anti-multitasking - focusing on one thing until it's done. Good stuff.

Maturity?

I'm not entirely convinced the world likes 'mature' people. People who can wake up early and get things done right. The guys who save their money instead of getting that new TV. Even in my head, I am pushed away by these people. They're not the life of a party and won't be seen in any funny YouTube videos. In today's culture, it seems like maturity is something we're all expected to grow into, but we have no one to model it.

Now, I am far from an expert in maturity. But, I know the Bible calls us to maturity. While I don't even have a nice, clean definition of the word, I think I have some ideas it's based around.

The first thing is being content. You can't be mature without some level of contentedness. It usually happens one day when you realize you're spreading yourself too thin. I wanted (and still do...) to be a great artist, photographer, doctor, friend, movie-maker, writer, and have a kickin' girlfriend. Oh, and get all A's at Rolla so I can go to Med School. But, when I went through and did some prioritizing, Med School trumped all these things. If I wanted to grow into who I wanted to be, Med School had to be the main focus. I had to realize that all the other things I do are great and fun, but some of it had to be cut out so I could grow into schoolwork. I had to be content with getting A's in classes, and not becoming the next Speilberg, Van Gogh, writer for the Office, or Ansel Adams.

From my experiences, the second part of maturity comes from discipline. Oooh... what a terrible word! How about we call it a routine, or a direction. Over the past week, I've been realizing the value of having a routine. I specifically set aside some time to get through some lab reports (instead of doing them the night before at 11 pm), and I realized just how much time I have! The worst part of the routine isn't making a schedule, but following through. This can't happen with any cheap advice or words, but has to come from a greater motivation (at least for me). Some days it happens, and some days it doesn't. This whole process grows you into maturity.

Now, this isn't the complete story for maturity, but at least I got my few cents of experience out there.

Also, I have a challenge. But, it's not to you, my great mass of readers, but to myself. I am going to try to post something once a day! Not only will this help my writing, force me to have a routine, but posting everyday means that I can see if this dumb thing really matters to me. Cause if it doesn't, it's gotta go!

Bryce

My Favorite Anberlin Song

(...maybe even my theme song)

Burn Out Brighter

Live, I wanna live inspired
Die, I wanna die for something

Facing towards the heavens
I fell into a pitch black
I'm moments from landing and I'm shaking like a heart attack

Is the time, can I turn back
I've made mistakes in the past
Need a chance, can't take it back
Wish I could set things right tonight

Live, I wanna live inspired
Die, I wanna die for something higher than myself
Live and die for anyone else
The more I live I see this life's not about me

All I know spins out of control
Wonder what's next for heart and soul
Nothing I earned can save me now
Hearing one day be my final hour

Is the time, can I turn back
I've made mistakes in the past
Need a chance, can't take it back
Wish I could set things right tonight

Live, I wanna live inspired
Die, I wanna die for something higher than myself
Live and die for anyone else
The more I live I see this life's not about me

Don't wanna leave this world knowing I preach in vain
Looked out for myself, so sorry so ashamed
Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried
Chased all my dreams that I can't weigh on the inside

Live, I wanna live on fire
Die, I wanna burn out brighter
Brighter than the Northern lights
Wanna live to feel the daylight
The more I live I see that this life's not about me

More posts coming soon...!

B

The best days are the ones where you're missing your pants at some point... unless you live somewhere cold, or you're homeless.

Something was different about today. But, before I start the story, I have to let you know how the day started. I began reading Romans today and I couldn't get the first line out of my head. Please, before you put me off as an awesome christian, understand that I haven't read my bible regularly in almost a month. I haven't opened it in a few weeks. I'm not a 'good' christian.

Anyways, Paul calls himself 'a bond servant of Christ Jesus, called as an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God...' The part that struck me the hardest was the last part - set apart for the gospel of God. When I read this, I ask myself what would happen if that was my purpose - I am set apart for the gospel of God. What if sharing and living out the gospel was my only intention in life? Wow. Anyways, so I was chewing on that bit for the rest of the day...

Physical Chemistry II, Intermediate Quantitative Analysis, and Molecular Genetics slipped by. I was so tired. I almost fell asleep once for every letter in those class names. (I did stay up late and get up early).

But, I wasn't worried about these classes, I was worried about what lied ahead at 1:00.

I had a lab for P-Chem. But, out of five groups, me and my partner were the lucky group to start out with zero information and design an experiment to figure out a reaction rate. If you don't understand where to begin from this, then you're in my shoes.

We gave a presentation the week before about how we were going to perform the experiment (we had no idea what to do), and the teacher ripped us apart with a few specific questions. I wasn't looking forward to this lab at all.

We ended up finding a part of an experiment online that we hoped to get working. So, we went into the lab, hoping to work something out. Now, I could go into some chemistry methods and such, but I won't do that. Very simply, we got the experiment to work, but it was running too fast. So, me and Brian worked out some math, and figured out how to make it run slower. And it did! Then, we tried to speed it up, and again we succeeded! I guess I've always had my doubts in chemistry, never thinking I was 'good enough.' But, this lab today somehow proved to my doubting inner ego that yes, I can do chemistry (which is good, since I've been studying it for four years).

As I'm walking back from lab, on top of the world, I hear music coming from our neighboring house. I thought they were having a dance party or something, but no one was outside, or on the porch... then I saw five people on the roof including a violinist and a guitartist...

About three minutes later, I was up there too. Their roof is actually very comfortable if you lie down. And, something about being on a roof changes things. Maybe it's just because it's a whole new perception experience, or maybe it's because you feel superior to the peons below... I'm not sure.

I came back from across the street pretty content. I was so happy, I loaded up an episode of the Office that I downloaded for free. It was just about as close to perfection as I could get. I had a quesadilla on one plate, a cherry coke by my side, and my pants were missing. And, I watched the office to my heart's content. Amazing.

Then, our first gel group came along. I'm co-leading a group going through John 13-17 (the upper room discourse). Now, you may not know this, but I hate public speaking. I'm fine if I don't know I'll be in front of people, but once I'm there, knowing what's coming... I freak out. I've been trying to improve, trying to throw myself out there, but it's still hard.

So, I guess I was sort of dreading tonight. I was basing how this night would go off of how my last worry-wrought one was. Anyways, it ended up going really well. We didn't run out of stuff to say, no awkward moments happened, and I got to know all the people in our group. I know I'm not Larry King now or anything, but it's a nice step forward.

So, that's been my day. But, it's important not to forget where it all started. I know I won't.

Bryce

“If you read history you will find that the Christians who did the most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.” ~C.S. Lewis

[Maybe one of these days I'll put up a post that isn't as serious. I've realized lately though that I really like things that have some sort of meaning in all parts of them, especially movies. So, I guess I put a lot of thought into the things I do.]

Check this:

The Irresistible Revolution

"Too often we just do what makes sense to us and ask God to bless it. In the Beatitudes, God tells us what God blesses - the poor, the peacemakers, the hungry, those who mourn, those who show mercy - so we should not ask God's blessing on a declaration that we will have no mercy on evildoers (war). We know all too well that we have a God who shows mercy on evildoers, for if he didn't, we'd all be in big trouble, and for that, this evildoer is very glad. Rather than do what makes sense to us and ask God's blessing, we'd do better to surround ourselves with those whom God promises to bless, and then we need not ask God's blessing. It's just what God does."

~Shane Clairborne, the Irresistible Revolution

This book teaches me about living a way of life following the Prince of Peace. It's teaching me about compassion, and not to sit around and wait for things to change. It's a book about love without human boundaries. And, I'm only halfway through!

Da Hairs

Before:



During:
My dad had never done this before. We were using my brother's hair clippers.
"Oops" says Dad.
"What do you mean 'oops?!'"


I should have left it like this:


No one will notice, right?


Before/After.


Oh, the things I do for Pine Cove...

-B

Saw this on Postsecret Today

I thought it was fitting since I've said 'goodbye' to a lot of college friends who I won't see for a while.

M U S I C

I know, I know, posting song lyrics is getting old. It's so 2005, not 2008. So, let me take a second to explain why I continue to do so.

I love music. There is so much communication when you listen to a song. There are so many aspects of the song that can effect your feelings. So, my analytical mind wants to dissect it... but I won't let it. Not here. But, here's what I think can convey information from music: lyrics, tempo, key, repeated patterns, crescendos... Doesn't sound too inspiring when listed like this, but it truly does amaze me. I mean really, why does a certain set of notes produce a "minor key" and no matter what you do it's gonna sound sad? How does that happen?! I also love how a person can pick and choose from all of these things to convey a message to the listener. It's pretty fascinating... anyways, here's another.

"Listening to Freddy Mercury" by Emery

Every once in a while I think I'm lying.
Take it to the bank. I believe every word I say.
(This just isn't how, this just isn't how)
Then again this is when you start your prying.
(This just isn't how, this just isn't how)
But there's a thought it could be true.
But this just isn't how I imagined it would be.
With these random people just asking the most personal things.
And to think that somehow I could always come clean.
And you shake your head just like you know what I mean.

You're a Christian tell the sinner find repentance it's your last chance.
You believer, where's your patience?
Answer questions, put on faces.
What about God? For you and for me.

All have fallen short (To see if it's right or wrong to listen to this song.
I don't want you too. To see if you're okay with all the words I say.
It can't be this way)

Somehow, someone is more equal than others.
Depending on the words we choose to say.
A glance at her too long tonight.
But everything I am saying is right in your ears.

We are all the sisters and the brothers.
Until we find we don't believe the same, like...

Gary is getting drunk to forget Sarah.
Sarah is stealing money from her parents.
Aaron is lying straight to Jon.
About Megan and the things that went on.
Jessica is a gossip, Laura is a slut.
Derrick hits Bridget and Ben deals drugs.
Seth spends all his money gambling.
Joey stopped praying.

It is all the same thing.
We are all the same people.
With sinning hearts that make us equal.

Here is my hand, not words said desperately.
It is not our job to make anyone believe.

Tisbury Lane

Why did MAE never release this on their big albums? Second best song by MAE in my book.

"She greets the day with her hair wet
She asks them to vacate the building
Because she's got a plan they don't know yet
And if it goes wrong, there'll be no one to see

If she could just get the word out
God knows she's trying
They're watching her with eyes closed
She's always stuck with the old route
Does anyone knock when they barge in to beat her down?

Will you come back?
It's all she wants to know
She knows she's part of the problem too
Could she let it go?
It'd take a miracle
So that's what I'm praying for

No one can know just how she feels
She won't use the phone, she's too tired to pick it up
She's going back to the old way
She sits in the classroom to learn with the others

Please don't give up when it's easy
Don't you know that me and Jesus will cheer you on?
He's the only one that will be constantly everything you need

Will you come back?
It's all she wants to know
She knows she's part of the problem too
Could she let it go?
It'd take a miracle
So that's what I'm praying for

Yeah
She lives on Tisbury Lane"

I was on the Avalanche

It's funny how you can go for so long without having a break, and then all good things rush in at once.

Last weekend, I helped my (basically) brother, Smedvig, propose to his girlfriend. Well, I didn't help as much as I filmed it. Same thing, though, right? I've never really seen a proposal before, so I was a little skeptical. But, I am very thankful that he invited me to be there for the big question. I left their church soaked in joy from their radiant happiness. It was nice to have the night before I toook the MCAT.

I took a test last Saturday that I had studied for every day for 90 days. April 19th... I will not forget that day. In the midst of the MCAT, I was not seeing the light. But, when I walked out of there and gave a high five to a girl I will never see again, the light poured in. The pressure sloughed off, and clarity came through.

That night, I met up with an old friend, Mr. Andrew Nash. He just proposed to his girlfriend. At Starbucks, we talked for a good 3 hours. It was what I needed after the test, just time to relax and catch up with humorous stories. The best part? He asked me to be his best man for his wedding! He didn't plan this, but the wedding is January 3rd... important day (for me). Needless to say, sleep came easy.

When I came back to Rollasponsibilites, another surprise was waiting. Mark Smedvig asked me to be his best for a wedding on Dec. 27th! Of course, I was honored and accepted. So, the end of December/beginning of January is going to be a crazy exciting time.

On top of all of this, I've had some time to take a lot of pictures. I thought I'd relay some up here...

Dismantle. Repair.

Tonight, my room was discussing Colossians 3 for our room meeting (we're going through colossians). We took away something pretty cool from it.

Colossians 3:5 says to put to death immorality, impurity, lust... greed. As my room discussed what this practically looks like, we noticed that a lot of these things slowly fall away without hard work. I have never sat down and really thought, "How can I be less greedy today?", but today I am much less greedy than before I followed Christ. So, we decided that this was proof that God works to restore us everyday, and sometimes we don't even notice!

In verse 8, some more habits are mentioned such as anger, slander, etc. Again, we all agreed that some of these things fall away themselves. One of my favorite verses is 1 Peter 5:10 - It basically confirms that God will restore us- "perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish". I love this reminder because it inspires hope. Day by day, God is working on us, breaking down, even "putting to death" our faults, and He is building up new habits, thoughts and ways in all of us.

Reminds me of a great song by Anberlin

"Save me from myself
Save me from myself
Help me
Save me from myself
Save me from myself
Oh, woah
Things are gonna change now
For the better
And woah, oh
Things are gonna change

Hands like secrets are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases like knives
Your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down Repair
You've dismantled me
You've dismantled me"
~Dismantle. Repair.

On a completely different note, I have to tell you about postsecret.com. Basically, people send in their secrets on postcards to this guy, and he posts them on the web. Some are big, some are almost pointless, some are sad and others are hilarious. It's a way to find release, I guess, but I like to read them just to know that people deal with the same things I do. I found this one that I could have made myself:

But, a word of caution before you get too excited - most cards are very real and shocking, so be prepared for anything.

Have a wonderful wednesday,
B ryce

This post isn't a cop-out or a filler, there was a lot of thought put into it; it's a great reminder, or even better, a great thing to never forget.

Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy;
without holiness no one will see the Lord.

Hebrews 12:14

Sidewalks in the Snow

Life is like walking on sidewalks in the snow.
The only way to see if you're still on the sidewalk is to look back and study your footprints.

Necessary Nonsensicality.

I needed a lighter post.

I did no work on Saturday.

I did a ton today.


The MoMiner made me risk the weather to snap some pictures of Lions Club Park.


This one's for me. (and, I guess for you too now)

Also, I guess I'm crazy, but I cut my finger today, and I really wanted a picture of it. So, here's two.



AND



It's ok. You can think it. I like to be different.

-bryce


How long should it take somebody
Before they can be someone?

Cause I know there's got to be another level,
Somewhere closer to the other side
And, I'm feeling like it's now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical?
~Mutemath (Typical)

5-4-07

I found some really inspiring words from...myself. I wrote all last spring semester and had forgotten about what had happened and what was going on until I read some old notebook. I found this entry encouraging (who would think you could encourage yourself?).

It's dated 5-4-07

"I can feel a change coming. A sobering change. I think I'm going to grow up. Yeah, that sounds cheesy, but it's time.

I want to live for God? Well, it's time to get serious, cling to His promises, and start doing it. It's time to start communicating with people for real.

I want to be a doctor? It's time to study. Time to memorize. Time to get serious.

It's time to be there for people, help them through this life. It's time to be honest, time to think about the effects of my decisions. "A life with meaning can't exist with a life with happiness". I think God has made it possible. I need to start showing some joy. Start smiling more. Stop complaining. Be there.

I need to "embrace life". I have to stop thinking about what people think of me. I have to start thinking about what God thinks of me.

It's time to do things- not because I want to, but because I'm called to, or must do for others. It's time to let the video games go. Time to let lust go. Time to stop making excuses, and be the guy. It's time for action.

-Bryce

PS
I think, although people won't admit it, people look on Christians and judge our standards. Now, why do they care if we mess up? If there is no God, then what we do should not matter to them. But, it does. When they need someone, they see God in us and trust. I think."

Did I grow up?

"For your salvation I wait, Oh Lord." Genesis 49:18

Honest Thinkings part II

I can hear my Physical Chemistry lab report screaming for completion, but there's a few thoughts a'brewing that must come out somewhere.

So, here's Honest Thinkings part II

1. God wants us to fall more in love with Him every day. I was reminded of this tonight as I walked to UC East. Above me, the stars where shining, as they do, but below, on the layers of ice, another display was beginning. The streetlights made heavens below my feet as the light reflected off tiny pieces of ice, blinking in new patterns with every step. God wants to dazzle us everyday. And he often does.

2. After every discussion about righteousness or false teaching or most anything to do with Christianity, I realize that what I do always comes down to why I do it. If the motivations are wrong, the action is wrong, no matter how 'righteous' the action makes me.

But, when I glance over my motivations, and I honestly ask myself why I do things, I don't like what I see. Do I go to church to visit with God, or because I 'have to' (what would people think of me if I never went to church?). Do I help people so my Christian friends will think I'm a super-cool follower of God, or am I trying to display God's love to a neighbor? Why do I want to be a doctor? Why do I exercise?

"Do not do your acts of righteousness before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will receive no reward from your Father in heaven."

3. Our room has been going through the Sermon on the Mount. As we finished today, I thought about how simply not sinning is not Jesus' whole plan for us. It's step 1. Step 2 is realizing we have a body and a mind to show others around us our God (through various means).

It's so easy to sit in the CCH and not sin. It's easy to be dazzled by God in the joy we find. And, it's easy to leave things at that. But I think Jesus calls me to more than this. He calls us to do good. In the study we just finished, he gives numerous examples of how to help people and why we should. I'm living as a passive Christian. There' so much more.

4. I want to memorize Dallas Willard's conclusion to the Sermon on the Mount:

"As a disciple of Jesus I am with him, by choice and by grace, learning from him how to live in the kingdom of God: how to live within the range of God's effective will, his life flowing through mine. I am learning to live my life as He would live my life if He were I. I am not necessarily learning to do everything He did, but I am learning how to do everything I do in the manner that He did all that He did.
As his apprentices, we pass through a course of training, from having faith in Christ to having the faith of Christ. As a proclaimer and teacher of the gospel of his kingdom, I do not cease to announce a gospel about Jesus. That remains forever foundational. But, I also recognize the need and opportunity to announce the gospel of Jesus - the gospel of the present availability to every human being of a life in The Kingdom Among Us."

-Bryce

Honest Thinkings.

No, you read the time correctly. It's late. I couldn't sleep. I tried, but I ended up getting some apple juice and taking a shower. I'm going to take some sunrise pictures with some friends at 6, so why sleep?

Now, you get to hear my thoughts (beware, they don't have much conclusion... they just are)

(1)I've been worrying about something semi-random. When I leave Rolla, will I have anyone to keep in touch with? And, I mean really keep in touch with, someone I could visit or call when I can't sleep? There's not very many people from high school I still talk to. I hope it's different when I leave here.

It's gonna be weird to be in my "final year" of college next year (except for med. school). All the awesome people I met when I came here will be gone. I guess it'll be up to me to be the new awesome guy. I guess I'll have to be mature or something... And, Mark will only be here half a year. Heck, he'll be married this time next year... crazy.

But, I've been worried. I've tried to come out of the CCH shell of internet, movies and video games to connect with people, but it seems like that's where everyone else is. It's like I came out of my cave to find everyone having a party in another. It's lonely.

(2) Can I quit it all and be a photographer? It would be so much easier.

Funny story. A few days ago, I got an email from a lady who goes to Vineyard. She was asking me if I wanted to take pictures for her wedding! ME! I felt I was completely unprepared for such a thing. But, then I was thinking... gotta start somewhere. I would have done it. Unfortunately, her wedding is on the day I take the MCAT! Med school's already getting in the way of my fun...

(3) *Deep stuff ahead*
SERVICE
So, I've had a few service opportunities in the past week, and I've definitely found some encouragement. Tuesday, our gel group handed out refreshments to random people at the Multi. It was awkward for a while. I hoped people wouldn't ask us why we were handing stuff out. I didn't want to explain to them how Jesus served and told us to look out for each other. What if they laugh, even on the inside?

But, after a few encounters, it was kind of fun. People responded positively. Apparently, it just takes a little confidence to get people comfortable.

Then, today I was helping with the blood drive, and they asked me to hand out fliers. Yuck, I hate it when people throw those things at me... Anyways, I learned a valuable lesson, so get your pens ready.

See, I thought approaching people was only weird bc I did it in Christian service projects, where God was involved. Trust me, the feeling is universal. But, if people reject you, they aren't really rejecting you, they're rejecting what you represent.

I'm sure there's a verse like that in the Bible, but I surely understood this today. After this realization, it was kind of fun to approach people with the fliers. They were more uncomfortable than I was! And, they came up with the lamest excuses. Once I saw that they really just didn't want to give blood, I wasn't afraid to talk to people and try to convince them otherwise. So, take heart and have confidence when speaking to people about God. They may reject Him and His grace, but not you or your faults.

(Now, I was thinking about this today too- they are rejecting you IF you really believe in the message. I feel rejected when people reject God only because they are disagreeing with a large part of my belief system.)

(4) I know I had another point... Oh yes... WHY CAN'T WE EVER BE COMPLETELY HONEST?
I get tired of faking happiness. The next time someone asks, "How's it going?" I may just answer them honestly. "I'm pretty stressed about this or that." or "Man, this situation is kind of depressing" etc.

I don't like to be honest with people because being totally real brings me closer to people. Then, they may want my time or help or money or something. That sneaky word... commitment! *Gasp*

It bothers me in other ways too, not only in conversation. You've heard the advice - "smiling is contagious, it makes you and others happy" Well, there may be some truth to that, but why fake a smile if you're having a crappy day? Or laugh at a joke you don't get. I do it just to fit in. Stupid Pride...

Well, it's 4:30. I'm gonna go read or think or write or who knows what for a few hours. I hope you enjoyed my unfiltered thoughts (the filter turns off around midnight). I hope I don't regret this later... no, I won't. These are my honest thinkings.

b ryce

PS I had a dream today that I bought a MacBook. Best dream ever.

Seems I'm Staying As the Others Cross Finish Lines

As a cheesy line from the 80's - this song explains where I am right now:

Once alone and too afraid
Of strangers knocking my door
And well, you came in
I knew you'd win
But I was sitting on the front porch, swinging
And waiting

I tried walking with you in mind
But looking down I saw my feet were tied
Got to thinking how easy it would be
Within the fear and chains being a part of me
And waiting

Always waiting
For my ride to pick me up
On my time
Seems I'm staying
As the others cross finish lines
I could break with the day
I could set in to speed
But to tell you the truth, I'm always waiting
Always waiting

Caged in with a beautiful view
And I was waiting for the night
When I could soar with you
But when you pick me up, release me to fly
I found that I could not always try
And waiting

Always waiting
For my ride to pick me up
On my time
Seems I'm staying
As the others cross finish lines
I could break with the day
I could set in to speed
But to tell you the truth, I'm always waiting
Always waiting

(Don't want it back...)
(I don't want it back)

Always waiting
For my ride
Please pick me up tonight
I can't stay here
I know I can see my finish lines
So I'll break with the day
And I'll set in to speed
Are you driving away?
Are you driving to me?
To tell you the truth, I'm always waiting
Always

All we did was find our wings
Always
All I can do is drive away
Always...

~Mae, Waiting

PS - keep up with 204 with our new blog! 20feaux.blogspot.com

God, the Separator

I got a great Bible for Christmas. It has a fancy name, "The New Inductive Study Bible", but it presents the Bible unadulterated (or at least the most I've seen). There are no commentaries, no chapter titles. Not even red ink when Jesus speaks. It's NASB, which is the closest to the original Hebrew and Greek (so I've heard).

Now, the coolest part is their strategy in reading. There are certain ways you mark words. God, Jesus, love, blood, heaven, spirit, suffering, etc., each have their own separate symbol and color. Also, you get to write in the chapter titles. You can look over the chapters and see by the symbols what the main focus was (and you have to read carefully to mark all the words). Then, you write the theme in a big list at the end of the book. So, you can see the main themes of the book all in one place, chapter by chapter. Even cooler is the lead-ins to the chapters. They point out things to focus on, things to watch out for. They ask a few questions or tell you to note lists in the book. All of this together really helps me remember what I've read and understand more than I have before. It's great.

Now, I say all of this not to promote the version (but, I would recommend it to all), I do have a point. I started reading through the Bible at the beginning of the year. Also, I joined CCF in reading through the Bible in a year. (Which, I know I want to be reading the bible for a year, but I may not finish it in a year...).

I learned something cool that has applied to and expanded on some thoughts I've had lately: God is a separator. The Separator. In genesis 1 he creates light and dark, then he separates them. He makes 'the waters' and separates the waters from above and the ones from below to make heaven. He separates the sea from the land. In the garden, God tells the two not to eat from two trees. He ends up separating from them for their disobedience. God calls one nation to be holy, seperate from the others. They can't stay with other peoples and idols. He separates them.

Then, hundreds of years later, a man tells his ever-fearful followers: "Do not think I have come to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." A sword divides things, it's a wedge; a separator. He says, "for I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter againste her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's enemies will be the member of his household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life will lose it, and he who recieves Me recieves Him who sent Me."

Seeing God as the Separator is enlightening and downright depressing. There are people I know who I will not be spending eternity with. Even more, if God separates, there are people I know in this life who I can't be with all the time. My friends, family; God may call me away from it all.

God is a separator for a reason though. And, it's obvious if you think back to sunday school. What's the old phrase, 'God and sin can't mix'. God must separate the holy from the unholy (and He will one day for good.) But, I think that in these days, He is busy separating holy from unholy. Or, holy paths from unholy ones.

Tonight, I had an argument with God. There's a situation I've been obsessing about. But, it's distracting. It's dividing my attention from God. It's not a sin in a sense, but it is if it's dividing my attention from Him. But, God can be very persuasive. That's when He made most of the above make sense. He reminded me of eternity, and the people who I can hang out with forever there. All along, I knew the right thing inside. I guess I just asked Him about it to hope His plans would align up with my wants.

There's a joy, nay, a peace about doing it God's way. I don't say joy because I'm not happy, but I am content in God's timing and plans and promises. I don't like it, but I know I'm doing what He wants. So, I'm not happy, but at peace. (Yes, it's possible).

So, I may be separated from this one thing I want or think I need, but it's ok. God is a separator, so I can see Him in all of this. He wants me to be holy. "Sin is crouching at the door," He reminds me. "You think you want this, but this is what you need." So, in separation, we become holy.

**Note: This separation/holiness is not a way out of interacting with the world. While it has physical consequences, I think it's spiritual. We must be the holy ones, the light, in the world for others to see our Separator.**

We are God's possessions

Well, howdy. I've been realizing lately that I put a lot of thoughts up here, and not much that's actually going on in my life. So, let's talk.

I got this sweet camera for christmas/birthday. Since then, I've been taking a ton of cool pictures, figuring out how the camera works and stuff. It's kind of like a creative rampage. Some people say they're not creative, art is beyond their limits, and some say creativity is a muscle, and being creative helps your ingenuity later. It's different than both of those for me. I just like to make things that I think look cool. That's all I'm ever going for. So, maybe creativity does increase over time, but I think it's just because I know some different ways to make things look cool (to me at least). What do you think about creativity?

I had to do a devotional last week, and it was intense. But good. In the process, I came upon a really sweet verse. I was looking for verses about being "set apart" or holy. I came across Deuteronomy 7:6.

For you are a holy people to the Lord your God; the Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for His own possession out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth.

I could talk a while on how we should be set apart, and not look like or want what the world wants. But the second half of the verse gets me. "God's own possession". I was thinking about Dr. McIntosh (who spoke on evolution v. creation), and how even if he can disprove evolution, I'm not sure people will flock to Christianity. Coming to God is a hard, humbling road that most people don't want to deal with.

With this verse in mind, I think we can show God in other ways. If we allow Him to use us as "His own possession", heads will turn. People will be curious. And why shouldn't they be? God and man were meant to work together, so by fulfilling this, people will see it. This is my new goal at least, to let people see God using me, and wanting to know this God.

Also, read 1 Peter 2:9-17. Good stuff.

This Space Filled Soon...

My internet has been down for the past week. I have some good stuff, I just can't sit down and write here on Smeddy's computer - he actually has important stuff to do. But soon, IT has promised me my internet will return. They have to figure out the email crisis right now, methinks.

I'll be back.

Bryce