You know, Rolla can be boring sometimes, but it really does have it's pros. Times like tonight, hanging out and talking about totally unrelated things; Mark and I stealing each other's towels while we take showers; watching movies like the Labyrinth; making random videos...
Some say Rolla feels like a prison, but honestly, I wouldn't trade the people here for anything.
12.11.2007
12.04.2007
Be careful, and I promise I will be too.
Well, things have been going good. I had a good time with the service project this weekend raking leaves and hanging out with the cool kids in Rolla. But, things are about to get crazy. I have this list of everything I need to do before break school-wise, and every time I look at it it feels like I'm on a ship watching the dark clouds form ahead... But, I guess you just have to take it one day at a time, eh?
Something weird happened today. Today I had my last english paper due, and all I needed to do was print it out. So, about 15 minutes before class started, I headed off to the University Center (which isn't the center of anything... it's just close to the CCH). Anyways, I get there, and there's a class going on in the lab. This has never stopped me before, most teachers don't care. Heck, I've been in labs where people come in and work on computers. It's a huge lab, so it's not a big deal. But, apparently, the class was doing presentations or something. So, I sat in the closest corner (where no one was), and I put in my flash drive. I didn't even have time to sign in before a young teacher (TA?) walked over to me and said "You need to leave." I told him I was just going to print something, and it would take literally 1 minute. He told me I was disrupting class, and I needed to leave.
Now, it was about here that something switched inside me. Every stubborn bone in my body raged, and I almost logged in and printed my paper. I had to fight with everything I had not to ignore this guy. I think I said something like, "Really?" So, I ended up leaving, but I left with an immense amount of anger. Like I said, it was really strange. It wasn't that big of a deal (I got it printed in comp sci), but I still couldn't get over the situation. Every time I thought about it, it just made me angrier and more frustrated. I'm not even sure what it means...
Now, it's time to go deep. For my gel group, we're reading through Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller. One of the chapters we went over hit me hard. The second to last chapter is on religion and what it's becoming. He talks about how we sometimes search for God not out of love, but out of a need for confirmation of our beliefs.
He quotes CS Lewis: "Most of us are not really approaching the subject in order to find out what Christianity says: We are approaching it in the hope of finding support from Christianity for the views of our own party. We are looking for an ally where we are offered either a Master or--a Judge."
Then, he dives into what I like to call 'popular christianity'. This is what hit me hard. So much of our religion is based on popularity. We are honored for memorizing scripture or for having regular quiet times. We try to throw out fancy theological ideas to gain status among other christians. I've done this, I do this. It reminds me of a verse I became really intimate with this summer at Pine Cove. It's in Matthew, at the beginning of chapter 6. Jesus tells us that what is done is secret will be rewarded by God. Jesus tells us that if our audience is men, our popularity will be all we get; but if our audience is God, we'll receive our reward from Him.
Now, I know you may think I'm a hypocrite because I just threw out some fancy ideas. But, I'm not trying to seem smart now. Remembering this made me wonder: what if I had this amazing relationship with God, but kept it all in secret? What would happen? What if God and I were inseperable, but nobody else knew?
My instant reaction is: what is the point if no one else knows? That is were I make the mistake of trading popularity among christians for popularity with God. Sure, reading my bible openly could remind other people to read theirs, but most of the time part of me wants the other CCFers to see me and say - wow he's a good christian.
So, my new goal is to do what I said earlier: have a great relationship with God, but keep it a secret. Now, I know, if someone doesn't know Christ, I'm not going to turn him away or anything and say "Well, it's a secret...". This idea is to keep my pride out of my faith. My hope is that I'll change through the process, and that is what will be seen.
But haven't you ever judged someone by the amount of bible verses they have memorized, or some belief they had? I know I have, and that's wrong. Popular christianity doesn't work. We aren't the Judge. The only thing we gain from it is recognition from people who are probably striving for the same thing.
Miller goes on with some stories that are pretty sad. One is about a group that won a bunch of challenges at a youth camp, but when the crowd realized it was a bunch of scrawny, nerdy guys, the cheering stopped. The cheerleaders and jocks in the crowd had wanted someone else, someone popular to win. He went on with a challenge to find one ugly person on a cover of a christian CD. He and a friend couldn't do it. A final example is from an usher at a huge church. The usher was told to put the good-looking people near the front because they would be the ones on tv.
I love Miller's statements: "I am only saying that we are, perhaps, even more obsessed, in the church, with the stuff the culture is obsessed with. We are hardly providing an alternative worldview. The matra seems to be "Trust in Jesus! He will redeem you to the world."
Well, looking over this stuff, there's a lot of negatives. But, I take heart in the good people out there. Because there are such people, you know. So, be careful with what you do, and I promise I will be too.
-Bryce
Something weird happened today. Today I had my last english paper due, and all I needed to do was print it out. So, about 15 minutes before class started, I headed off to the University Center (which isn't the center of anything... it's just close to the CCH). Anyways, I get there, and there's a class going on in the lab. This has never stopped me before, most teachers don't care. Heck, I've been in labs where people come in and work on computers. It's a huge lab, so it's not a big deal. But, apparently, the class was doing presentations or something. So, I sat in the closest corner (where no one was), and I put in my flash drive. I didn't even have time to sign in before a young teacher (TA?) walked over to me and said "You need to leave." I told him I was just going to print something, and it would take literally 1 minute. He told me I was disrupting class, and I needed to leave.
Now, it was about here that something switched inside me. Every stubborn bone in my body raged, and I almost logged in and printed my paper. I had to fight with everything I had not to ignore this guy. I think I said something like, "Really?" So, I ended up leaving, but I left with an immense amount of anger. Like I said, it was really strange. It wasn't that big of a deal (I got it printed in comp sci), but I still couldn't get over the situation. Every time I thought about it, it just made me angrier and more frustrated. I'm not even sure what it means...
Now, it's time to go deep. For my gel group, we're reading through Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller. One of the chapters we went over hit me hard. The second to last chapter is on religion and what it's becoming. He talks about how we sometimes search for God not out of love, but out of a need for confirmation of our beliefs.
He quotes CS Lewis: "Most of us are not really approaching the subject in order to find out what Christianity says: We are approaching it in the hope of finding support from Christianity for the views of our own party. We are looking for an ally where we are offered either a Master or--a Judge."
Then, he dives into what I like to call 'popular christianity'. This is what hit me hard. So much of our religion is based on popularity. We are honored for memorizing scripture or for having regular quiet times. We try to throw out fancy theological ideas to gain status among other christians. I've done this, I do this. It reminds me of a verse I became really intimate with this summer at Pine Cove. It's in Matthew, at the beginning of chapter 6. Jesus tells us that what is done is secret will be rewarded by God. Jesus tells us that if our audience is men, our popularity will be all we get; but if our audience is God, we'll receive our reward from Him.
Now, I know you may think I'm a hypocrite because I just threw out some fancy ideas. But, I'm not trying to seem smart now. Remembering this made me wonder: what if I had this amazing relationship with God, but kept it all in secret? What would happen? What if God and I were inseperable, but nobody else knew?
My instant reaction is: what is the point if no one else knows? That is were I make the mistake of trading popularity among christians for popularity with God. Sure, reading my bible openly could remind other people to read theirs, but most of the time part of me wants the other CCFers to see me and say - wow he's a good christian.
So, my new goal is to do what I said earlier: have a great relationship with God, but keep it a secret. Now, I know, if someone doesn't know Christ, I'm not going to turn him away or anything and say "Well, it's a secret...". This idea is to keep my pride out of my faith. My hope is that I'll change through the process, and that is what will be seen.
But haven't you ever judged someone by the amount of bible verses they have memorized, or some belief they had? I know I have, and that's wrong. Popular christianity doesn't work. We aren't the Judge. The only thing we gain from it is recognition from people who are probably striving for the same thing.
Miller goes on with some stories that are pretty sad. One is about a group that won a bunch of challenges at a youth camp, but when the crowd realized it was a bunch of scrawny, nerdy guys, the cheering stopped. The cheerleaders and jocks in the crowd had wanted someone else, someone popular to win. He went on with a challenge to find one ugly person on a cover of a christian CD. He and a friend couldn't do it. A final example is from an usher at a huge church. The usher was told to put the good-looking people near the front because they would be the ones on tv.
I love Miller's statements: "I am only saying that we are, perhaps, even more obsessed, in the church, with the stuff the culture is obsessed with. We are hardly providing an alternative worldview. The matra seems to be "Trust in Jesus! He will redeem you to the world."
Well, looking over this stuff, there's a lot of negatives. But, I take heart in the good people out there. Because there are such people, you know. So, be careful with what you do, and I promise I will be too.
-Bryce
11.18.2007
Deep Thoughts for a Sunday
I've probably spent the better part of an hour trying to write this post. I'm not sure what it should be about, because there's a ton thoughts brewing that need to be let out. So, I think I'll pick one and stick with it.
Why are we fake with people? Believe me, I am fake often. I want to impress people, I guess. People's opinions have a hold on us, and they shouldn't. I guess I've noticed this a lot lately through a certain situation. Erica and I are on a "break". It's been weird and awkward, so I've probably been weird and awkward to be around. You see, I haven't told many people this, because I'm scared of what they'll think. I've been fake, dishonest even. But, I'm tired of it.
Have you ever been asked a question in a group, and you have an opinion, but you don't say it until you know someone else agrees with you? I have such confidence in other people's opinions, but I have none in my own. Shouldn't I have the most faith in mine?
And that, is why we are fake with people. We want to "fit in", but we lose our own ideas and thoughts by doing so. It reminds me of Donald Miller's Lifeboat theory - how we're all striving to get others to like us, so we're not thrown overboard.
I love this quote, and I think it has the answer:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~Marianne Williamson
We should be ourselves, and not worry if our creativity, ideas or achievements threaten other people.
Why are we fake with people? Believe me, I am fake often. I want to impress people, I guess. People's opinions have a hold on us, and they shouldn't. I guess I've noticed this a lot lately through a certain situation. Erica and I are on a "break". It's been weird and awkward, so I've probably been weird and awkward to be around. You see, I haven't told many people this, because I'm scared of what they'll think. I've been fake, dishonest even. But, I'm tired of it.
Have you ever been asked a question in a group, and you have an opinion, but you don't say it until you know someone else agrees with you? I have such confidence in other people's opinions, but I have none in my own. Shouldn't I have the most faith in mine?
And that, is why we are fake with people. We want to "fit in", but we lose our own ideas and thoughts by doing so. It reminds me of Donald Miller's Lifeboat theory - how we're all striving to get others to like us, so we're not thrown overboard.
I love this quote, and I think it has the answer:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~Marianne Williamson
We should be ourselves, and not worry if our creativity, ideas or achievements threaten other people.
11.11.2007
Unexpected Refreshment
So, I just got back tonight from the Pine Cove Reunion Tailgate in Lincoln, NE. Grading by activities alone, it wasn't a top 10 trip of my life or anything, but being back in the Pine Cove mindset and seeing all those Pine Cove people was awesome for one reason: memories.
I've gone this whole semester without really stopping to think about how much went on this summer. Honestly, for 7 weeks out of the summer, felt like I was working side-by-side with God. Everything I needed was given to me, every little prayer was answered. I woke up feeling tired and sick sometimes, but that disappeared as soon as I started working with the kids. The Pine Cove experience compares to nothing I've ever done before. And I forgot about all of that this semester. It's been busy, but I think I've used that as an excuse to not really think about this summer and how I can be stepping up and challenging myself.
But back to the trip, it was great to see a few people from the towers. We had some memorable times and some great conversations. Queen P and Flyin' Solow drove 11 hours or so, and I knew 2 others from the Towers there.
I am refreshed.
I've gone this whole semester without really stopping to think about how much went on this summer. Honestly, for 7 weeks out of the summer, felt like I was working side-by-side with God. Everything I needed was given to me, every little prayer was answered. I woke up feeling tired and sick sometimes, but that disappeared as soon as I started working with the kids. The Pine Cove experience compares to nothing I've ever done before. And I forgot about all of that this semester. It's been busy, but I think I've used that as an excuse to not really think about this summer and how I can be stepping up and challenging myself.
But back to the trip, it was great to see a few people from the towers. We had some memorable times and some great conversations. Queen P and Flyin' Solow drove 11 hours or so, and I knew 2 others from the Towers there.
I am refreshed.
11.08.2007
Easy first post
Yes, it's true. I'm starting a new blog. Right here, right now. Honestly, xanga has been declining, and I just can't write regularly there. Plus, I have a ton of friends there who probably don't exist anymore.
So, it's time for a fresh start here at BryceThink. Yes, the name is from another literary classic, just like dangerouslysane was from Catch-22. BryceThink comes from 1984's GroupThink. Anyways, with the move, i want to be able to be more honest and real here than I could be on xanga.
So, you need to see Sprint's "waitless" videos. They are for the engineer in all of us. Basically, they show you simple ways to save minutes every day, from tying your shoe to peeling potatoes. Check them out here at http://www.waitless.org/. My favorites are quick-peel potato, instant baby soothe, speed-tie shoes, turbo parking, and instant shirt removal.
It's bedtime now, hopefully I'll find time soon to really update everybody reading.
-Bryce
So, it's time for a fresh start here at BryceThink. Yes, the name is from another literary classic, just like dangerouslysane was from Catch-22. BryceThink comes from 1984's GroupThink. Anyways, with the move, i want to be able to be more honest and real here than I could be on xanga.
So, you need to see Sprint's "waitless" videos. They are for the engineer in all of us. Basically, they show you simple ways to save minutes every day, from tying your shoe to peeling potatoes. Check them out here at http://www.waitless.org/. My favorites are quick-peel potato, instant baby soothe, speed-tie shoes, turbo parking, and instant shirt removal.
It's bedtime now, hopefully I'll find time soon to really update everybody reading.
-Bryce
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