I recently read a compelling article from one of our Forge speakers. Check it out, then come back here.
His premise was about loving people, despite their reactions to our love.
"You see, somewhere along the line we got it in our heads that the call to love the world was simultaneously a call to make the world love us."
"But it’s important for us to remember that love does not have to be reciprocated in order to be authentic. When we define love as a transaction or exchange, it rapidly turns into something self-serving and conditional. Loving you so you’ll love me is not the same thing as loving you."
"Their response must have no bearing on our love. We are called to love, not necessarily to be loved."
His thoughts reminded me of a similar lesson I learned last year. But it wasn't about love; it was about pursuing and relationships - a lesson I had forgotten. Through this short series, I hope to remember and explore why we should pursue relationships, reciprocated or not.
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Our group had just survived a pretty tough week. I can't really go into details as I'm sworn to secrecy. But, during a meeting to work out some of our tensions, someone brought out the idea that people were 'slipping through the cracks.' Many in our group felt overlooked, un-loved and forgotten. When this was voiced, I felt like part of that 'forgotten' group - I felt like there we were, a couple months of living together, and no one had really pursued a real, deep relationship with me.
Luckily, during a talk with one of my closest Forge friends, I was hit with how selfish I had been. I had put zero effort into building relationships with others, and then there I was feeling sorry for no one coming to build one with me. I just wanted to take and take, and not give anything.
Still, I think I would have been upset if I had tried to build relationships and still nothing was reciprocated. Then, I would have felt like I had some grounds to condemn the other Forge members, right?
Later in the year, we got "Lantzed." I don't remember the exact discussion, but it had something to do with people feeling like their 'needs' weren't being met; basically, the part two of our previous talk. Matt reminded us that Jesus lived, ate, and built into his disciples all day, every day, for three years. Did He ever feel like some of His needs weren't being met? Without getting all theological, I would say a resounding "Yes!" Still, He pursued them fully, teaching them, leading them, giving all He had to make them into leaders; however, their behavior did not limit his efforts.
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I understand we are called to love all, despite reciprocation. But, I've already forgotten this lesson. I find myself still waiting for others to build into me. So, I want to focus on pursuing, and post my thoughts as I struggle and learn here. On this blog, what I want to explore is:
-What is pursuing? What is the difference between love and pursuing?
-How did God pursue us?
-How did Christ pursue us?
-Why pursue others, and how can we pursue others?
I'm hoping to have a post on these topics each Thursday so be sure to check back next week.
